You typedd*:
blog
(Wednesday, December 9, 2009-)
+2:51:00 PM]*
# preparing for the worst ald-
I was very hurt by you yet again. u hurt me as and when u like. But do you also have to do that even during our anniversary?
As I recalled the many times you have hurt me, I wondered to myself whether you really love me or not. or were you just taking advantage of me?
You went drinking. Why? Because of us or because of fun?
Tml you will be going down to cs party. And I prepared the worst ald. Girls…who would reject them?
If you got smitten by them, what can I say then?[[updated]][11.11]]
“either your f* friend or me” is all I said before I hang up.
You chose him. you do not need to say out your thoughts but I already know what you were going to say. I am a very unreasonable person.
Why did I do that in the first place? I wanted to know how much you really care. I wanted to know how important this relationship was to you. I use to see the people in the tv dramas asking their husband to choose between them or their mother, and I use to laugh at them for being so unreasonable.
And now? it is my turn to do that. I now finally know how they felt when their husband were at lost of answers and for some? Who resorted to their mothers. When the wives cried their hearts out, I find it almost too dramatic to believe that the tears have to be shed. But now? I finally knew how they felt.
You may think that I am being childish and unreasonable towards this whole relationship too. but did I did that out of fun? did I did that out of anger? Infact, I have been pondering over this question for you to make. And to be honest, I thought you would come to me again. but no, you just simply do not care even when I have already declared us friends. No calls or messages were made despite the phone with batteries.
What can I say? I wanted to call you and apologise to you for my mistake but I was not expecting it to ring when I tried calling as you told me that your phone was dying already. But it rang anyway. I grew angry instead of feeling apologetic. You sounded so irritated and I almost died on the spot.
I really could not believe me trying to apologise to you. what am I to you I asked again?
Maybe it is really time for me to say goodbye to you. but I really carn bear to see you going out with another girl. But what can I do? fate is fate. I carn just simply overlook at this problem of ours and presume it to be normal. I carn simply just tell myself that it will be alright after a few days.
I really do not want to see history repeating itself again. and yet, I have tried all my best to savage this relationship.
There were so many things I wanted to share with you. but I ended up sharing it alone with this blog of mine. Because I know that you wouldn’t bother to listen to my unhappiness. So many things were running through my mind, and yet, I cannot say them out as and when I like. If only…..if only I am a cold hearted girl. Then, woudnt all the problems be solved? Imagine me not minding about how people look or talk about me. imagine me doing whatever I want withough having to think twice about doing anything. Imagine me being happy because I do not have any other worries. And finally, imagining me, living my life to the fullest without a single drop of tears for guys ever again.
When will you be gone away from my heart?
the story ends like this;
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