(Friday, November 20, 2009-)
+6:31:00 PM]*

# -

I hate myself for having such a nasty temper. I hate myself for having such a lousy attitude. I hate myself for having such a nasty heart. and, I hate my own feelings.

Can I have a cold heart? why am is so stupid? Why did I agreed to relationships in the first place? Why am I not happy now? why should I feel sad towards the nasty things the guys did to me? are they worth the tears I am shedding now? how much does my tears worth? Do you know the answer? i guess the tears are just worthless. No one seems to care about them dropping onto the floor when they see one. none of them care anyway?

Then why should I cry? Why am I crying now? do you know? do you even care? A word pf patch and the comfort you are getting now is enough for you. the rest of the things you could not be bothered. Why are man so selfish? Do you care or even feel remourseful for the way you are treating me now? did you feel sad when Im crying so badly?

Have you ever stop to listen about my feelings? have you ever want to find out the pain I am going through? Have you ever stop to listen to me crying? Have you ever care for me? have you ever spared a thought for me?

We patched up yesterday. And I know I shouldn’t have. We quarrelled today. it might seem to be a simple problem and you think that there is nothing for me to kick up such a fuss. We planned to meet today. if you could not, why don’t you say so? Why choose let me wait for you for so many hours instead of planning them nicely? Why? What am I to you?i always worry whenever you are rich. Once you are rich you will go out and play. I worry when you are rich because I am doubtful of the money you are having. I do not know where you had obtained them. And I can never find out because you like to lie.

You look me up only when you are bored. Once you had your own plans you would leave me alone and not bothering to inform me too.

You did not feel remorseful at all for the way you behaved today and you still can ask me why the hell am I flaring? You were in the fault and you think that I am in no position to be angry?

You said you did not want to talk anymore. And you said bye…and let me tell you this…do not regret saying that.

the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________