(Tuesday, October 13, 2009-)
+10:26:00 PM]*
+10:26:00 PM]*
# entered into a different world..again..-
I think I have entered to a whole new different world…again…
It wasn’t the first time I found myself in a new world, I think I have gotten use to it already. Nice things doesn’t last at all. it is always for a short while before changing to the ugly side I have never expect. And whenever it does that, it would always leave me alone to recover from my wounds.
Yeap, things have changed. My friends were gone, my supposedly support were never there, best friend or close friend were not there anymore. Right now? im all alone again, back to square one.
Actually I had already foreseen what is going to happen during the long run but wasn’t expecting it to happen so fast. Very fast indeed..
Yeah no one seem to care a bit what more a friend to chat with? I guess my character has had something to do with it anyway. Was very reluctant to go school nowadays. Have been pondering on what was the matter with my attitude that causes everyone to avoid me or like me or worst, treat me like im their dog. Why? My younger siblings does that, my friends does that. and now? my love ones does that too. yeah, maybe Im really a person who doesn’t deserve respect from anyone…none infact…
It took great pains to give them up, took great pains to forget them all. it hurts to see them changing to hi-bye friends. What has happened to my life? It went so smoothly from the start and…..wait. it have never went smoothly huhh? I guess I was too naïve to even see what was going on…I miss them…come back will you?
U said u will always stay by my side no matter what, but u were never there. never..really..
U left me yesterday when I need you the most. You left me alone crying my guts out. Support, was never there…I held myself up thinking why I was so stupid…so stupid to cling onto you thinking that you will changed. U said that my ideal guy was never you at all. you said that all this time I have been forcing you to changed into my ideal guy. It really hurts me to think that all this time I have been hanging out with a guy who was wasn’t happy at all with his own partner. I didn’t know at all until u told me…
I know that no matter what I say, were never been heard. No matter what I do was never seen. No matter how much hurt I have gone through were never been touched by your heart. I tried so hard to please you, but you were never satisfied at all. no matter how much I explained, you would never listened, because you refused to accept what I’ve said but your own thinking. No matter how much effort I put in were never appreciated. The hard work I put in were never seen. Never once baby…
The things you did to me were so hurting that I have cried for days but you never know. you told me once that you will never make me cry…but I cried so many times because of you…
You never believed the pain I gone through no matter how much I tried to ask you to stop. You make me live in suffering alone. I do not have any friend from the start, all I have was God and you..no more. But when I found one, you were never happy for me because they were guys. When I did found one, you never stop torturing me with all the tauntings u gave… privacy? Were never given to me despite your promise you make to me. they were never there…it was infact the opposite…you grew so different…boyfriend? Are you my baby?i do not know anymore baby…
You make me lose Gary because he care for me…you make me lose Nicky because he hated you…you make me lose Billy because he was there for me rather than you…three…gone just like that…what more do you want? I have never said things like you did today to you..why isit that you can talk to girls while I can’t? why isit that you can lie while I can’t . I merely lie once and you carved it on your heart for months and bore grudges against me…why baby?
Whatever I do to you you would want to take revenge…why baby?why hurt me in this manner? I am your girlfriend aint i? you cursed my friends just because you hated them…you cursed them infront of me. am I just someone who must live alone and own by you? am I right?
Baby, much as I tried to avoid getting hurt, you never stop torturing me… you have your friends but I do not have…you have your own freedom but I do not have…you were happy but I was never once happy…and…you just refused to admit that you were in the fault. No matter how many apologies you gave, were never serious at all…’sorry’ was just a word you use all the time. they were never sincere at all…you got so irritated by me because you find that by saying sorry was enough..am I right?
No matter how much saliva were used, they were never understood by you..much as I tried to help you..much as I tried to communicate with you, you never see the effort put in…I really tried baby…but I still could not get you to understand what Im trying to say….
You shouted at me…you shouted at me to leave…and then you came knocking on my window after you have cooled down…you knocked so hard that you failed to see me crying so hard on the bed..you said stuffs that I could not even hear…but instead of comforting me…you wanted people to hear you out first…what am I in your eyes baby? Am I just someone there to provide love and comfort for you? am I ?
Family, friends or partner..i do not have…family…were just there to discipline, scold…that’s all…food and clothes were provided…care and concern…were never there..never….when I have problems, you guys were never there to hear me out or there to give your support..all you said was a few words of discipline…” I’ve told you so…” , “ you were just so stubborn to hear us out…”and..” I don’t know you all larhh..solve them among yourself…”
tag: What am I suppose to do right now?
I wanted to die…I wanted it to end…but can i? im tired…
It wasn’t the first time I found myself in a new world, I think I have gotten use to it already. Nice things doesn’t last at all. it is always for a short while before changing to the ugly side I have never expect. And whenever it does that, it would always leave me alone to recover from my wounds.
Yeap, things have changed. My friends were gone, my supposedly support were never there, best friend or close friend were not there anymore. Right now? im all alone again, back to square one.
Actually I had already foreseen what is going to happen during the long run but wasn’t expecting it to happen so fast. Very fast indeed..
Yeah no one seem to care a bit what more a friend to chat with? I guess my character has had something to do with it anyway. Was very reluctant to go school nowadays. Have been pondering on what was the matter with my attitude that causes everyone to avoid me or like me or worst, treat me like im their dog. Why? My younger siblings does that, my friends does that. and now? my love ones does that too. yeah, maybe Im really a person who doesn’t deserve respect from anyone…none infact…
It took great pains to give them up, took great pains to forget them all. it hurts to see them changing to hi-bye friends. What has happened to my life? It went so smoothly from the start and…..wait. it have never went smoothly huhh? I guess I was too naïve to even see what was going on…I miss them…come back will you?
U said u will always stay by my side no matter what, but u were never there. never..really..
U left me yesterday when I need you the most. You left me alone crying my guts out. Support, was never there…I held myself up thinking why I was so stupid…so stupid to cling onto you thinking that you will changed. U said that my ideal guy was never you at all. you said that all this time I have been forcing you to changed into my ideal guy. It really hurts me to think that all this time I have been hanging out with a guy who was wasn’t happy at all with his own partner. I didn’t know at all until u told me…
I know that no matter what I say, were never been heard. No matter what I do was never seen. No matter how much hurt I have gone through were never been touched by your heart. I tried so hard to please you, but you were never satisfied at all. no matter how much I explained, you would never listened, because you refused to accept what I’ve said but your own thinking. No matter how much effort I put in were never appreciated. The hard work I put in were never seen. Never once baby…
The things you did to me were so hurting that I have cried for days but you never know. you told me once that you will never make me cry…but I cried so many times because of you…
You never believed the pain I gone through no matter how much I tried to ask you to stop. You make me live in suffering alone. I do not have any friend from the start, all I have was God and you..no more. But when I found one, you were never happy for me because they were guys. When I did found one, you never stop torturing me with all the tauntings u gave… privacy? Were never given to me despite your promise you make to me. they were never there…it was infact the opposite…you grew so different…boyfriend? Are you my baby?i do not know anymore baby…
You make me lose Gary because he care for me…you make me lose Nicky because he hated you…you make me lose Billy because he was there for me rather than you…three…gone just like that…what more do you want? I have never said things like you did today to you..why isit that you can talk to girls while I can’t? why isit that you can lie while I can’t . I merely lie once and you carved it on your heart for months and bore grudges against me…why baby?
Whatever I do to you you would want to take revenge…why baby?why hurt me in this manner? I am your girlfriend aint i? you cursed my friends just because you hated them…you cursed them infront of me. am I just someone who must live alone and own by you? am I right?
Baby, much as I tried to avoid getting hurt, you never stop torturing me… you have your friends but I do not have…you have your own freedom but I do not have…you were happy but I was never once happy…and…you just refused to admit that you were in the fault. No matter how many apologies you gave, were never serious at all…’sorry’ was just a word you use all the time. they were never sincere at all…you got so irritated by me because you find that by saying sorry was enough..am I right?
No matter how much saliva were used, they were never understood by you..much as I tried to help you..much as I tried to communicate with you, you never see the effort put in…I really tried baby…but I still could not get you to understand what Im trying to say….
You shouted at me…you shouted at me to leave…and then you came knocking on my window after you have cooled down…you knocked so hard that you failed to see me crying so hard on the bed..you said stuffs that I could not even hear…but instead of comforting me…you wanted people to hear you out first…what am I in your eyes baby? Am I just someone there to provide love and comfort for you? am I ?
Family, friends or partner..i do not have…family…were just there to discipline, scold…that’s all…food and clothes were provided…care and concern…were never there..never….when I have problems, you guys were never there to hear me out or there to give your support..all you said was a few words of discipline…” I’ve told you so…” , “ you were just so stubborn to hear us out…”and..” I don’t know you all larhh..solve them among yourself…”
tag: What am I suppose to do right now?
I wanted to die…I wanted it to end…but can i? im tired…
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________